The holidays can be a time of togetherness, joy, and fun. It can also be a time of stress, loneliness, and anxiety that can take a significant toll on your mental health. If you find yourself stressed before or during this time of year, you’re not alone.
A recent American Heart Association (AHA) survey found that most people take weeks to de-stress after the holidays. Almost all respondents reported that they regretted not making time to rest or enjoy the season. Knowing the challenges during this time of year, you can proactively put in guardrails to protect your mental health. Let’s review some tools and skills that can help.
We all know that stress isn’t something we want to feel all the time. While stress serves the purpose of keeping us alert and aware of potential dangers, too much stress is bad for our bodies and minds and can negatively impact our choices and actions. But how does stress affect us? The Mayo Clinic outlines how below.
| Impact on our bodies | Impact on our minds | Impact on our actions |
| Headaches | Concentration problems | Angry outburst |
| Muscle pain | Anxiety | Substance abuse |
| Stomach issues | Memory issues | Over or undereating |
| Sleep problems | Depression | Isolation |
| Chest pain | Irritability | Exercising less |
| Fatigue | Feeling overwhelmed |
1. Set Realistic Expectations
From dishes to events to outfits to gifts, there are a lot of expectations for this time of year. Often, we set unachievable goals and, therefore, set ourselves up for the disappointment that comes when those goals are not met.
It’s important to step back and ask if our expectations for ourselves and others are too high. Recipes may not turn out as they looked on Pinterest, children may not use their manners when grandparents are over, your house may not be immaculate, and you may be late to an event.
If you expect perfection, even small hiccups can feel like disasters. Setting realistic expectations is a game changer. It helps ease anticipation, reduces stress, and creates space to enjoy the season.
If you’re feeling pressure to meet every expectation, remember that CalVEBA offers mental health support to help you navigate life’s challenges. Learn more here.
2. Draw and Hold Boundaries – It’s Ok to Say No
Putting in place frameworks for what is ok and not ok for you is an essential to-do over the holidays. Boundaries help us maintain who we are, stop others from taking advantage of us, invigorate our relationships, give us space to respectfully speak our minds, and open us to empathize with others. Healthy boundaries over the holidays could look like this:
- Not answering emails or work calls after hours or on your scheduled time off.
- Saying no to invites when you want a quiet night at home.
- Expressing discomfort to a relative who wants to talk about politics.
- Politely asking others to respect your physical personal space.
When our boundaries aren’t respected, we often feel unsettled. Many people ignore that discomfort to avoid conflict. This year, challenge yourself to let others manage their own reactions. Respectfully expressing and maintaining your boundaries is essential to your mental well-being.
3. Balance Your Schedule
Calendars fill up quickly during the holidays — often overflowing. It may seem impossible to manage and curate your schedule. More than half of the people surveyed in the AHA study reported that they had trouble making time for healthy eating, exercising, and getting adequate sleep this time of year. But finding balance in your day and week can keep you on your holiday schedule while keeping your stress in check.
As you make a list of must-dos, be sure to include nutritious meals, exercise, sleep needs, and decompression time. Draw healthy boundaries around your time, knowing that you must show up for yourself before you can for others over the holidays. Block time on your calendar for self-care. Treat it like any other important commitment. You may not be able to make a 60-minute yoga class, but stretching at home for 15 minutes can be just as impactful. Five minutes of peace alone — wherever you can find it — can make a huge difference in your day.
Try CalVEBA’s virtual yoga, nutrition, and movement classes from wherever you are to help you recharge on your own schedule. Get started here.
4. Practice Mindfulness Regularly
Stress can sneak up on us. It might start with a few quick breaths and a clenched jaw, then escalate quickly. Tuning into your body throughout the day is an important step in managing your stress over the holidays. Meditation, yoga, journaling, and walking are all great ways to cultivate awareness of what’s going on with you. From that knowledge, you can practice breathing techniques, use a self-soothe kit, or other coping techniques to regulate yourself. Then, you can start to address what’s causing the stress.
5. Lean on Support
Help can be asking a coworker to assist with a project, a parent to watch your child for a few hours, or a friend to pick something up for you when they’re running errands. It can also be asking for someone to listen to you as you talk through something, company as you go for a walk, or someone simply holding space with you. Over the holidays this year, look to your family, friends, and coworkers for support and don’t forget to check in on others as well. Checking in with others can be a meaningful way to connect and support each other. You can also lean on the Resource Center. We offer programs and resources to help you live your healthiest life.
Looking for More Support?
The holidays can be a time of joy but also stress and anxiety. Prioritizing your mental health is essential to navigating this season with resilience.
As a CalVEBA member, you have access to:
- Mental health care through CalVEBA and your medical plan
- Virtual wellness classes including yoga, fitness, and meditation
- Self-care toolkits focused on mental well-being, nutrition, and on-demand videos
Visit VEBAResourceCenter.com/Resources/ to explore programs that support your total well-being.
